Tag Archives: TMI

Monroe Institute Gateway Program in Chicago

A Monroe Institute Gateway Voyage program is being offered in Chicago by two of my favorite facilitators, Marinda and Bob. More information and registration info available here.

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Watch for me on TV … the unXplained: Biography Channel

A new television show called the unXplained will air starting in August on the Biography Channel.

This is the show that filmed a Lifelines program at The Monroe Institute in March 2012, which I attended. During that Lifelines program, we thirteen participants “retrieved souls” who were stuck.

At least three of the individuals that I helped during the Lifelines program have been identified in historical records. The names, dates and places that they either lived, died, or both were matched up.

The film crew came to my home two weeks ago to conduct more interviews with me concerning those three individuals as well as talk to me about my experiences in Iraq, and follow me around while I did “normal” things (ugh! 😛 ).

I’ll post dates for the Monroe Institute show(s) that I’m included in when the producers let me know the dates …

To find out more about the unXplained, follow the link below.

http://www.aetv.com/news/a-e-network-greenlights-non-ed-pilot-the-unexplained-587960

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Imagination

During a Monroe Institute workshop that I attended earlier this year, the facilitator suggested that if we felt as if we weren’t getting anything during the meditations (visual images, messages, communication, whatever), that we prime the pump by imagining something, then following it.

She paused for a moment, looking around the room with a small smile. “I love doing this workshop in Australia,” she told us. “In Australia I can say use your imagination, and no one stares at me like I’ve just suggested you all cheat on a test. Americans assume that imagination is not real. The Australians don’t have that hang up.” I looked around the room. People’s faces were polite blanks, like they were waiting for a punch line, explanation or assurance. The perplexed energy was palpable. You could feel their question: “But is it real? How do you tell?”

I’ve had similar questions from friends and clients, people curious about how I do my psychic readings, or how I trust information that I receive through non-physical means: How do you tell what’s imagination and what’s real?

It’s a valid question, but only because we’ve been taught and believe that there’s a difference between imagination (not real) and reality, whether that reality is the physical world or visions, messages, or other “spiritual” or non-physical communication.

About ten years ago my father had a severe heart attack. In Florida at the time, I immediately jumped on a plane to get to South Dakota where my father was supposedly dying. During a layover in Houston, I sat down and calmed myself. Closing my eyes, I imagined being with my father. I immediately found him wafting around over the Southwest, looking a little confused or lacking purpose. Getting his attention, I told him that he needed to get back to his body and make a decision; he needed to decide whether to stay with the body and heal it, or move on. I told him that either one was fine, but the decision was his so it would be good to get back to South Dakota. He nodded and moved back to his body, and I had the sense that he wanted to stay and heal this body.

When I opened my eyes, I knew that I had really found my father. My conversation with him had been vivid and real. Over the next couple of days, however, immersed in the family worry and the reserved pessimism of the medical doctors, part of me began to wonder if my conversation with him had just been my imagination.

As my father stabilized and before his six-bypass surgery, I found myself alone in the hospital room with him when he was fairly lucid. I decided to ask whether he remembered anything about where he’d gone after the heart attack. He thought for a moment, then said, “Yeah, I was flying around the Southwest.”

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When we set our imaginations free, we can imagine anything. Think of the infinity of possibilities available for our imaginations to choose from. Why do we choose this thing to imagine?

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I’ve learned that what pops into my imagination pops into my imagination for a reason. Even what I choose to imagine, what I deliberately pick out of the infinity of options then deliberately direct and rearrange and edit and re-imagine, comes for a reason.

Communication may not always be so direct and clear as the communication with my father happened to be, but what we imagine is not random. You don’t have to believe that. I wouldn’t recommend trying to convince yourself to believe it, arguing with yourself or brainwashing yourself into believing it because I say so it must be true (I am not your authority – you are!). It’s not a matter of faith. Try it. Test it. Play with it. When you begin to do that, you’ll eventually discover that it’s true, and know it through experience. Try priming the pump with your imagination.

About thirty years ago while I was in Spain, I sat at a café with a young man who was very outgoing and therefore intimidating to me because I was shy. I was half paralyzed with nerves when he said to me, “Don’t think, just tell me a word.” I did. He said it again, and I gave him another word. I think we ended up with ten words or so. The words all rather inexplicably had to do with the Pope, blood, guns, and Rome.

About one week later, Pope John Paul II was shot.

Twenty years ago I wrote a novel about a woman recovering from loss and injuries. Friends and family reading it now are blown away (haha) by the many parallels and details that match up with my having been blown up in Iraq. Was the story “just” my imagination?

It may be that “imagined” scenes highlight one issue, idea or theme; they may be revealing of a belief; it may be one symbol that has to be unpacked. Some details may be accurate and others may not be. The imagination may be a dense and rich scene that has to be pondered a bit to find the core. Or the imagined may have pieces of “true” or “real” tarted up within scenes to make them acceptable to our conscious minds.

I’ve played with the reality of imagination for many years, so usually I can tell that this is important and that is junk. I can deliberately create, or I can deliberately read someone else’s creations. I can get one flash and unpack it. I can deliberately set my intention that this is imagination and that is fantasy (i.e. I don’t want this to actually happen to me – I’m just exploring it in a fantasy). Not always, but often enough.

I’ve developed my own language of imagination. I’ve developed little tests of perception that work for me (turning the white robed beings into monsters, for instance, as described in Application of Impossible Things). I’m not unique – you can do this yourself.

As you continue to pay attention to your own imagination, I suspect that you’ll begin to understand the language that you use to communicate with yourself. You’ll learn where to look: through “seeing” or hearing, feeling or sensing. You’ll probably begin to understand symbols, not unlike analyzing dreams. You’ll probably begin to discern what is “true” within imagined scenes and what is overlaid on them by your conscious mind, or what is window dressing to make the information entertaining to your mind. You’ll likely begin to notice little flashes of “imagination” that come to you out of the blue and learn to unpack them.

You don’t have to believe that imagination is real. Test it for yourself if you’re interested. Prove it. Try priming the pump with imagination. Explore.

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On Guides

A friend recently asked if I think that the Gathering (from Application of Impossible Things) is a sort of executive committee comprised of other incarnations of myself, and whether it has an active part in guiding mine. His question came from reading Robert Monroe’s book Ultimate Journey, in whichMonroe has eventually reached this understanding about the many guides that he encountered on his out of body experiences, as well as some culminating experiences that he had out of body late in his explorations.

I don’t exactly consider them separate from myself, while at the same time I know them as separate from myself. They are both separate from me, and aspects of myself. I am them, they are me, and we are separate consciousnesses having largely separate experiences. When I “channel” them, I currently think of that channel as a particular aspect of myself that both resonates with them, and is them. Of course from the deepest perspective, we are all one anyway, so the question becomes moot.

In a way, whether they are aspects of myself or separate beings is not that important to me. What interests me is how the information that we receive from them or our Whole Selves gets applied in our physical lives.

I have available a more intimate group of essences (smaller than the Gathering) who generally offer daily help and backup. Since these beings coincide more closely to what people think of as “guides” I’m going to set aside the Gathering for now and write about this level of interaction. The Gathering is more complex and more difficult to explain; an essay for another day, perhaps. And for the purposes of this essay, I’ll speak of them as being separate from myself.

My “guides” are guides in the sense that from where they sit they have a broader view of my experience, and they have my best interests and safety in mind. But I think of them more as advisors than guides. I argue with them, disregard or edit of their input, and sometimes ignore them altogether. I don’t consider my advisors any more all-knowing than I am, only more-knowing within certain moments or experiences. I don’t consider them to be invariably correct, only more often more accurate than I am. I don’t consider them to be wiser than myself; they are only more pertinently wise within certain moments and experiences. While I might be distracted by physical world beliefs, fears, excitements, events, and concerns, they are not.

I’m not always comfortable with the way many people convey what they receive from their guides. Some people seem to use the guides as a stick in competition, as a crutch, or as a badge. “My guides are telling me to tell you that you need to do xyz.” “My guides are telling me that you need to realize that xyz.” While passing that particular information along might normally be considered rude, presumptuous, patronizing or uncomfortable were it one’s own insight or opinion being expressed, suddenly it seems to be okay to pass that along if it’s from The Guides.

I’ve come to understand that it is often not okay to do that. The way information is conveyed is very important, and is the individual’s responsibility – mine – not the guides’.

Too often when something is blatantly attributed to the guides, it smells a little bit of self-interest. I recognize this – I’ve embarrassed myself in the past by doing it. Years ago, when I received information from the guides I would sometimes convey it in a way that implied that I was somehow wiser, more skilled, more in touch, more together than whomever it was I was passing this information along to. I was privy to some information and they were not. I’m only saying this for someone’s own good, or to help someone. They need help, they’re blind to themselves, they’re screwed up, they don’t have as clear a connection as I have, they don’t get it.

Very fine motivations on some level, maybe, but polluted by my own desires, fears, and the blanks inside myself that I hoped to fill. I was saying it to gain some power or validity, to show off, to give myself a pat on the back, to get attention, to inflate my sense of self in some way, often invalidating the other person in the process. I recognize the strange mixture of shame, pride, aggressiveness, self-satisfaction, self-doubt, fear, craving, and delusion that marks this kind of action. I felt a little precarious and ugly when it became valid to act presumptuous, rude or patronizing, to offer “help” when no one had asked for it. Hey, it’s The Guides – I’m just  following orders.

I quickly realized that if I felt compelled to pass along some information without being invited to do that by the other person, it was useful to ask myself, “But what do I think, and why do I think that I feel so compelled to share that?” It occurred to me to ask questions. What if the guides are giving me some insight not so that I’ll pass it along raw to another, but so that I’ll notice what the other person is doing then notice when I’m doing the same thing? What if it’s not about correcting or helping that other person at all, rather it’s about correcting or helping myself? What if it’s only given to draw attention to different ways of being, to become aware, not to correct or help either them or myself? Or what if the guides were transmitting some information in a raw state, expecting that it would be translated into something useful and appropriate to the situation, never expecting that it would just be blurted it out raw?

The truth is that guides don’t need to be quoted or followed without question or thought, without weighing that guidance. They don’t care if we attribute knowledge to them or claim it for ourselves. They know that as soon as we speak or act, that knowledge is ours. They aren’t responsible for our words, actions, or lives – we are.

I’ve come to understand that one way of accepting responsibility is to apply my own conscious physical world wisdom, my own situational awareness to expressing that which I receive. In this way, I acknowledge my individual decision and choice in the process of communication. Sometimes it’s more useful to say, “Now I know this,” or “I think xyz,” regardless of where that knowledge came from, leaving the guides out of it. Sometimes it’s more useful to ask questions than to assert knowledge. Sometimes it’s more useful to translate information into something gentle and amusing rather than blurting it out raw. These are important choices.

That said, I do find situations when does seem appropriate to acknowledge where information is coming from. I sometimes find myself saying, “The information that I’m getting is …” or “My people seem to be saying …” When doing readings for some people, “channeling” for groups of people curious about the mechanics of direct communication (or writing some posts on this site), for instance, that can be appropriate. It may be appropriate to source an idea that I’m receiving if I’m not sure that I understand what I’m receiving, or am not sure that I agree with it, accept it, or even want it. If the information clearly doesn’t feel like my information, I might feel that I’d be lying if I said the information was my own. In many cases I find myself saying – at least to myself, then, “The information that I’m getting is xyz … ” or even “I’m not sure about it, but I feel strongly urged to pass it along. What do you think?” That seems more respectful and ultimately more useful.

I’m following orders only works in the military (and obviously not very well even there). If my guides demanded total unmindful following of orders, I would re-evaluate that relationship. I’d seek out different guides. A parent who constantly dogs their small child with “do this,” “don’t do that,” “now do this,” is going to raise a child that has not developed their own decision-making abilities, their own skills and situational awareness and wisdom. That child is not going to be moving through the world on their own with any confidence. In the same way, I’m pretty sure our guides are not there to make every decision for us. They are not with us in order to direct our every move.

Here is what I suspect to be true: the guides that people refer to – whether they’re flaunted or kept secret, whether they’re used to dominate others, compete with others, inform others or the self, help others or the self, or explore with others or alone – they are parts of ourselves whether that’s understood as “because we’re all One” or “because they are all aspects of Me.” The mechanics don’t necessarily matter; the understanding of its application does. The understanding or a true digestion of that fact of individual responsibility changes how we think about our own words and actions. It requires us to accept full responsibility for how we apply that which we know – and that which we don’t know.

It encourages us to live consciously and humbly, fully owning our own infinite power and creativity, and respecting the same in others.

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Coming on Bio & A&E this summer …

A couple of weeks ago I participated in a program at The Monroe Institute (TMI) that was filmed for a new show coming on Bio and A&E channels this summer … here’s the  TMI blurb … I’ll let you know when the show will air as soon as I find out!

The History Channel spends a week at The Monroe Institute!

On March 9th, a group of young cameramen arrived at Robert’s Mountain Retreat to spend the week capturing the experiences of thirteen participants during the Lifeline program.

UnXplained is a new series that is featured on the Biography Channel, as well as A&E. After Executive Producer Russ Stratton, attended a Gateway Voyage Program several years ago, he immediately knew that it was important to share this experience with the world.

After years of planning, he brought his film crew of five cameramen to capture this process in action during a Lifeline program.

For the entire week, thirteen participants from all over the world, were filmed as their journey through the Lifeline program unfolded. Belief systems were reframed, parts of Self were reclaimed, and many experienced assisting souls to the light.

By the end of the week, the crew had become part of the group and even listened to a few of the exercises with the participants. The participants got great enjoyment in the excitement on the their faces as they explained what they had experienced.

Over 100 hours of footage were taped during the week. Now editing and confirming data is in process, the finished film to air possibly this summer.

The bond created between participants and the film crew was nothing short of amazing and some crew members are very eager to return as participants themselves!

The episode is scheduled to air late-July or Early August. Stay tuned for the official date so you don’t miss out on the premiere of a very exciting week caught on film!

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Christianity & Spirituality: Paul Rademacher’s “A Spiritual Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Universe”

I grew up in the Presbyterian church. It was a liberal congregation, with an unusually open-minded, curious and lively pastoral staff. It was, however, Christian. Good and evil, predestination (Presbyterians – what can I say), saved and unsaved, rules of behavior, dogma of thought …

While I valued very highly the community of the church, and the silences available in the space of the church (physically and spiritually), I kept secrets from the church. I valued the laughter, singing, solemnity, grief, and humanity of the community. I still miss those graceful beauties. But the beliefs of the church did not accomodate what I knew to be true.

I knew that Jesus was an example of what each of us is capable of, not a sacrificial lamb to be worshiped as something unreachably beyond human. I knew that hell was a fantasy fear. I knew that Satan was a sad myth. I knew that I could touch God because I had, and longed to again. I knew that mystics were not of the past, but of the ever-present. I knew that I was one. (I also knew to keep my mouth shut about that.)

I read the Upanishads when I was in high school, curiously drawn. I read about Buddhism and AmerIndian religions. I briefly practiced Zen meditation, and poked around in the Moslem religion. I practiced affirmations, creating miracles. I read the Bible through cover to cover. In each of these explorations I found the same core, the same prime number: one. We are all one, and God is in us, of us, through us, one with us.

I became more and more grumpy about sermons, beliefs, dogmas, and self-righteousness in the Christian tradition, feeling rising derision and scorn for the misinterpretations and strange assumptions that were propogated or sustained. I resented that God was assumed to be male, that God was assumed to be a being separate from each of us, that God was assumed to punish. Punish! Punish?? I was furious that Christians would split the One, enraged that fear was too often used like a bludgeon over love, and disgusted with the lie that unconditional love was a quirk of God that we’d have to die to experience.

I was frustrated.

In college I continued to struggle to reconcile or re-imagine the (my) patriarchal idea of God, and the ideas and beliefs of the church. I attended daily services for the silence, the focus, and the beautiful music. Ignoring the words, I rested in the beautiful space of what I now know as a meditative state of grace. I used the setting, ignoring as much as possible the – as I thought of it – foolishness and sadly misguided blindnesses.

One night walking alone in the silky darkness of a midwestern night, full moon lighting up the quiet trees, I said aloud, “There is no God.”

It just came right out of my mouth, surprising the crap out of me. It also felt as if it came to me, not out of me. So I decided that I would agree to that premise and explore from there. If it turned out to be false, I knew that God would bring me back.

Thirty years have passed. I can’t give a reasonable recount of those thirty years, nor would I care to do so (boring!). I’ll sum it up: Christianity continued to irritate me, even as I tried to ignore its persistent little remnants echoing and knocking around deep inside. The things that we learn as children are deeply seated, often comfortably settled in the subconscious or unconscious as base assumptions. Those little pieces and parts kept surfacing at odd moments, reminding me that they ought to be addressed and resolved.

How could I resolve all the little pieces? I couldn’t – I couldn’t even catch them all. I knew that if I could start at the beginning, at the One, perhaps I could describe in detail how Christianity had transmogrified the Christ message. If I could write it all out, articulating what I knew in my soul, I suspected that I could expose all the little pieces in myself and put them to rest. 

But hey, I didn’t have time, or didn’t have the energy or skill that I was sure that would take. Really I didn’t have the will, and probably not the courage. I couldn’t find my voice.

Recently I read a book by Paul Rademacher that has done much of that work for me: A Spiritual Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Universe.

Paul was a Presbyterian minister for fifteen years, functioning in that capacity while knowing he was living in dissonance with his soul. He had known rapture, experienced God, and wanted to again. He believed that we were each capable of the acts of Jesus, and that the Christian church had misinterpreted his life and message.

Paul is a mystic, and an articulate and thoughtful one at that. In A Spiritual Hitchhiker’s Guide, he re-imagines the Bible and the Christ message with intelligence, humor, and deep insight. 

I don’t necessarily agree with everything that Paul has written or proposed in this entertaining book – that’s not necessary. He begins at the beginning that we all know instinctively – the prime of all being: One. Beyond the One, his re-imagining of the message of Christianity leaves room for me to revisit and ponder my own understanding of the Gospels and their role in my early life. His obvious curiosity, irreverent humor, and the disarming honesty with which he uses his personal life to illustrate and illumine are all evidence of his grace. They have invited me to allow old angers and resentments to be revealed, then fall away; and to remember to cloak my explorations in that same sort of curiosity, humor, and honesty.

Paul’s story has allowed me to love the church again – not for what it stands for, but for what it was for me. Community. Humanity. Of the One, for the all; of the All, for the One. Flawed and perfect; packed with good people who may only be waiting, longing for someone like Paul to say what they know to be true in their hearts; to introduce them to the mystical in themselves – of themselves, touching God.

By articulating what I longed to say, Paul has set a part of me free.

A Spiritual Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Universe sparked me to grow, and I feel as if Paul sat by quietly cheering me on while I did.

The book is more than a thoughtful treatise on Christianity. It trips lightly through states of expanded awareness, and dips laughing into the muck of physicality. Yet Christianity is the skeletal structure on which Paul drapes all the beauty. He could have used Buddhism, Hinduism, Islam, or New Age and the wisdom would have been the same. Because they are one.

I believe that denying the existence of God thirty years ago as I walked under the dark trees allowed me to re-imagine God. I had to let go of my ideas of God – all those old pictures of a man waiting to crack someone’s knuckles.

Yahweh. Adonai. Allah. The Force. The Universe. The Mystery. The Mother. The Creative Force of the Universe. 

I’ve used all these words, because to communicate we currently use words. We think we need them. But each time I name the unnameable, something in me resists. I’ve touched the All That Is, and been one with the One, and I have the Force within me. I resist the names. By speaking a name, I limit the unlimited. No words exist to describe what I know. By naming the All, I separate myself from the One, which is a lie.

I am. 

One.

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(that last sentence was perfect silence)

Thank you, Paul, for returning a part of me to myself.

ORDER BOOK: http://www.amazon.com/Spiritual-Hitchhikers-Guide-Universe-Spiritually/dp/1571745971/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1311827111&sr=8-1#_

WEBSITE: http://www.spiritualhitchhiker.com/

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Osama bin Laden’s Death, & Our Opportunity

I’m saddened by the reaction of some of my American friends to Osama bin Laden’s death. Boasting and strutting Americans are, in my opinion, Americans at their most mortifying.

The effort to kill bin Laden lasted ten years, underlay two overt wars and countless covert ones, cost billions and billions and billions of dollars, spawned a creepily polarized political spin morass that fed a culture of fear, and cost a lot of soldier’s and civilian’s lives. All this, ostensibly to kill one man.

I wouldn’t call that something to strut about.

And this will not end the terrorist acts that cause Americans to puff up their chests and say, “Not here. Not inAmerica.” Osama bin Laden is not the only extreme fundamentalist, the only terrorist out there. Many people believe that violence is the only way to get what they want, to create what they desire, to force what they think is right. Others will take bin Laden’s place.

We still have not grown up. Our general comic-book mentality of one evil man destroying the world is useless and dysfunctional. We still have not matured enough to reflect on and respect the complexities of a world of vast cultural and political differences. We have not matured enough to understand that freedom means the freedom to choose something other than what Americans value and create. We have not matured enough to realize that our self-interested manipulations and exploitations of other countries politics and economies breed anger, frustration, and resentment in the countries and communities that we manipulate. We still have not matured enough to look at ourselves honestly, and to contemplate the fact that the ideals that we espouse are not often enough carried through in our actions.

The war inAfghanistanis not over. The death of bin Laden does not end the war or heal that country of its violence and tribalism.

The death of bin Laden does not end terrorism, Arab nationalism, or Muslim extremism. It does not spell the end of Al Qaeda. The Americans have killed one man, and think they have brought an end both a powerful organizer and a powerful symbol. But in this death, they have created a martyr to his followers, a potentially more powerful symbol that they may carry for decades, even centuries.

Memories of perceived wrongs are long and deep.America’s youth and cultural myths carry only one watered-down example of this: the Civil War. The South Will Rise Again. The Confederate flag. In the Middle East cultures (as well as other cultures – Albanians come to mind, Northern Ireland as well), perceived wrongs are carried for centuries, talked about as if they occurred yesterday, and acted upon with a passion and violence that belies the passing of time. Time does not necessarily heal. It can fester.

As a wounded war vet, more than once I’ve been asked directly if I’m not overjoyed at the death of Osama bin Laden.

I am not.

I have multiple perspectives from which I view bin Laden’s death, because I walk the world feeling as if I am a bridge precariously touching two shores: the reality of the world that we have taught ourselves is real, and the non-physical or spiritual reality that I have experienced and know is as real as this physical world.

From the physical world reality, I feel neutrally curious about bin Laden’s death. A social disruption has been eliminated, and I wonder what waves and eddies that removal will cause. Be assured that there will be waves and eddies, and that many of them will come as a surprise to most of us.

From the perspective of the bridge, I am saddened that bin Laden believed that the only way to get what he thought he wanted or needed was to impose violence and disruption on others. I am saddened that his spiritual energies were imbalanced, and by the imbalances he spawned in others, including influencing others to use violence and disruption and including exacerbating the imbalance in Americans caused by giving in to feelings of fear, anger, and desires for retribution. I am disappointed that we seem unable to heal people like bin Laden and his followers – better yet, to heal ourselves as individuals and as a nation and as a world community, thereby making people like Osama bin Laden powerless.

From the perspective of spirit, I feel detached yet interested. My curiosity is aroused by the intense passions, difficult lessons, and strange creative paths we each choose for our lives. Watching the energy matrices of the physical and non-physical planes shift with the death of Osama bin Laden, I choose to add my energy and attention to the most beautiful of the possibilities being explored: the most peaceful, the most balanced, the most integrating, the most forgiving.

I believe that it’s worth taking the time to ponder on the positive energies and lessons available in the life of Osama bin Laden and in the ripples that he created across the earth. It’s possible that each individual would find their own lives reflected in some aspect of his extremism, his anger, his frustration, his self-righteousness, and his choices of action in responding to those beliefs and passions. If he indeed chose that path as a spirit, he served us all by offering an extreme example of the sad power of fear and frustration, thereby also offering so many of us an opportunity to rise above it.

“I am more than my physical body. Because I am more than physical matter, I can perceive that which is greater than physical reality. Therefore, I deeply desire to expand, to experience, to control, to use, such greater energy and energy systems as maybe beneficial to me and to those who follow me. Also, I deeply desire the help and cooperation, the assistance and understanding, of those whose wisdom, knowledge, and experience are equal to or greater than my own. I ask for their guidance and assistance, and their protection from any influence or any source that might provide me with less than my stated desires.”  (The Monroe Institute – www.monroeinstitute.org)

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