Miracles

Two weeks ago I had a vivid reminder of how easy life can be.

Months ago I began digging foundations for two culvert rainwater collection tanks. I’ll skip the whining about trying to dig in dirt as hard as concrete … I finally finished the digging, then had to figure out pvc pipe plumbing. That took a couple weeks of fear and two days of glueing and installing. One more day to level the foundation pits. One more day to lay and compact the gravel. One more day to set up the rebar, and I was ready to completely freak out about actually installing the tanks.

I had ordered the two 4 ft diameter x 10 ft tall culverts a week before I had the foundations ready. It was due in on Tuesday, which would have been good news had I not been a stress mess worrying about how all this would really come together on the ground.

Stress #1: My neighbor had said he’d help place the culverts, but 4 ft diam culverts are, I was pretty damn sure, too big for two people to lift. Who could I get to help? I don’t know anyone here but my neighbor (I only moved here 6 months ago).

Stress #2: This neighbor knows a lot about mixing and pouring concrete. I know almost nothing – would two of us be able to mix, pour, spread and level the concrete before it bagan to set up, or would we need a third person? 

Stress #3: Would the lumber yard deliver the culvert, AND concrete, AND concrete mixer? What would that cost?

Stresses #2 and #3 would be moot if I couldn’t find or hire other people to help lift the culverts.

Enter a miracle.

I have a specific way of creating things, healing things, or inviting miracles. I imagine  a rose out in front of me a few feet, making it a color that resonates strongly and favorably with me. It’s “my” color. After creating it, I reach out to it with my spiritual hands and give it a healing. When I do this, the rose inevitably becomes brighter, lighter, sparkly. I then take a picture of whatever it is I’m worried or stressed about, and I put it in that rose. Sometimes I specifically ask for assistance; sometimes I just silently put it in the rose. Sometimes I put a grounding cord on the rose and watch it working to clear my anxieties /frustrations /fears concerning the subject (reasons why it can’t be fixed, or ways I think it should be fixed). Then I let it go. Sometimes I simply put the picture in the rose without the grounding. It flies off into the universe and I let it go, distracting myself by doing other things, taking my mind off that subject. Trusting the energy to work.

(p.s. you can’t include caveats when you release the rose … “I want it solved, but not this way, and not if that’s included in the solution, and I don’t want to have to do xyz …”   That doesn’t seem to work! Just let it go.

So I put the culvert rain tank construction in the rose and let it go.

Within 24 hours the following happened:

I received an email from a friend 300 miles away saying that he’d like to come visit on Monday (one day before the culverts arrived!) and that my project sounded interesting – he’d like to help. Stresses #1 and #2 solved!

I ran into my neighbor, and told him the culvert should arrive on Tuesday. He told me that we would have to install it Wednesday because he worked Tuesday and was leaving town Friday. Could I get everything delivered Wednesday morning? Eek!

I wasn’t even sure that the culvert would come in the day I was told it would, much less whether I could get the concrete and mixer delivered – you know how that goes. I promised myself not to freak out. Everything would work out, or it wouldn’t.

No sooner had I decided not to stress out, than the lumber yard called to tell me the culvert had arrived. I zipped down there to talk with them … could they deliver it? Sure. Wednesday morning? Of course. Could they deliver a yard of dry concrete? Sure. And a mixer? “Well … it’s broken.” Some discussion ensued and fix-it men were consulted. I closed my eyes and said, “Yes.” It took them another ten minutes to meet my conclusion, but in the end the owner of the lumber yard (named Angel, by the way 🙂 ) promised “without fail, Seren!” it would all be delivered Wed morning. He would fit it all on one truck, and charge me a pittance to deliver it.

Gary arrived on Monday. The culvert, concrete, and mixer arrived on Wednesday morning. We installed the culverts on Wednesday afternoon.

I suspect that everyone’s idea of a miracle is not the same. My miracle might look paltry and not very miraculous to many. It was shocking, however, to me. Coordinating more than the actions of my lone self, and the arrival or delivery of more than one item is too often in my history a recipe for disaster. I was a project manager in Iraq, and know an infinite variety of impossibly bizarre ways that a project can get fouled up. When everything goes smoothly, I know that I’ve received assistance.

Miracles don’t have a size. The “difficulty” of miracles lies only in our own minds. I often “create” money, shady parking spaces, and fun activities. Why don’t I more often create ease in other areas? It’s my life, and my life is more fun when I’m not struggling, tense, or stressed. Life doesn’t have to be hard. Anyone who tells you otherwise is mistaken.

Try a miracle for yourself. Put that subject of stress in a rose and let it go.

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3 Comments

Filed under Musing

3 responses to “Miracles

  1. Natalie/Seren, Just familiarizing myself with your work, art, mind. You have a delightfully rigorous and detail oriented mind, combined with an absolutely human tendency to freak out, that is altogether charming. Pleased to make your acquaintance!

  2. CW

    Amazing story. Not the miracle part; the fact that you undertook the project in the first place. My handyman skills would have ended with the digging. In fact, I’d have begged off with my torn rotator cuff. 🙂

    • Natalie

      Well CW, this was a case of getting in almost over my head. It was waaaay more work than I’d anticipated. I just took things one step at a time, freaking out on every other step (charmingly, according to Marian -cheers Marian 🙂 ). THis is a project I hope never to repeat!

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